"'Whom are you?' he asked, for he had attended business college." - George Ade
My first Post
This is my first post here on The Copywriter's Roundtable.
For the most part I want to blog here about my experiences as a freelance writer and post some of my articles and links. But, I thought that for a first post I would share this humorous post about emails that I receive on profile pages and the strange ways of men. I hope that you enjoy it.
I have received several messages lately on sites like myspace from men in the area surrounding my home. Almost all of them from younger men. While I have no objections to this it does make one wonder about men in general these days.
The real question is regarding the desperation. Here are three of those most recent messages;
Actually, NO, I am not the ONE.
Please understand. It isn't that I don't like men, I do. They are very handy and useful creatures and can be quite charming. At least until they are firmly planted in your home.
Once fully ensconced in the only comfortable recliner you thought you would need when you purchased new furniture, they want to be catered to.
'Get me a drink, hon.' 'What's for dinner, babe.' (this after he has sat in that recliner for over an hour and you haven't even gotten in the door yet) 'Oh, dear, could you run me a tub for a bath and on your way would you mind pulling off my muddy boots?'
Then, later, comes the whining. "You are always on that computer. It seems that you don't want to spend any 'quality' time with me anymore." (Okay, what are we building an excuse for here?)
The fact is, dearest heart, you interrupted me so much that I was unable to finish my work for the day and I have to sit up long after you are in bed and asleep to get it done and then you want to bitch, yes b.i.t.c.h., that I should know when to get off the computer and come to bed so that I won't so tired in the mornings. (Your concern just melts me.)
For the first several months, if your lucky, for a year or two, it is hot and heavy. You may even be lucky enough that some of that love and lovely lust lingers for many years to come. Personally, I have never had that kind of luck.
My last relationship lasted ten years. (Dear God I pray that it is the last!) During the last nine of them, we never spent a holiday together. We went out to eat four times. He never gave me a gift, a card a hand picked flower or even said 'happy birthday'. During the last five years, I got the distinct impression that he did not want to be seen in public with me.
It may have been because whenever he was going out in public, he snuck away from the house.
Perhaps it was because, when I had a function to attend he either forgot something and had to leave, never to return, or he would be late getting ready and never show up at all.
Often, upon my return to the home he would be nowhere to be found - for days! No note, no phone call, no nothing.
It may have been the once a month disappearances that lasted at least overnight, but usually 2 - 4 days.
You will never guess what the answer to the question 'Where have you been?' was.
"Oh, here and there. Why?" was the innocently delivered reply.
WHY? Why the hell do you think, why?
Or,
"I told you I was going to do such and such!"
Which was usually something that I checked to see if he was doing and did not find him doing it or it was something that should have taken only an hour or two to do and was yet undone.
Yes, men have their place and they are well suited for that place when they fit in it. That place just doesn't happen to be in my home or my life!
NO - I Am Not The One.
For the most part I want to blog here about my experiences as a freelance writer and post some of my articles and links. But, I thought that for a first post I would share this humorous post about emails that I receive on profile pages and the strange ways of men. I hope that you enjoy it.
I have received several messages lately on sites like myspace from men in the area surrounding my home. Almost all of them from younger men. While I have no objections to this it does make one wonder about men in general these days.
The real question is regarding the desperation. Here are three of those most recent messages;
- "Want to meet. Attractive man, lonely"
- "Just wanted to say HI you probably arnt into younger men anyway."
- "32 yrs old, attractive, lonely, employed, comfortable and looking for the love of my life. Could you be the one?"
Actually, NO, I am not the ONE.
Please understand. It isn't that I don't like men, I do. They are very handy and useful creatures and can be quite charming. At least until they are firmly planted in your home.
Once fully ensconced in the only comfortable recliner you thought you would need when you purchased new furniture, they want to be catered to.
'Get me a drink, hon.' 'What's for dinner, babe.' (this after he has sat in that recliner for over an hour and you haven't even gotten in the door yet) 'Oh, dear, could you run me a tub for a bath and on your way would you mind pulling off my muddy boots?'
Then, later, comes the whining. "You are always on that computer. It seems that you don't want to spend any 'quality' time with me anymore." (Okay, what are we building an excuse for here?)
The fact is, dearest heart, you interrupted me so much that I was unable to finish my work for the day and I have to sit up long after you are in bed and asleep to get it done and then you want to bitch, yes b.i.t.c.h., that I should know when to get off the computer and come to bed so that I won't so tired in the mornings. (Your concern just melts me.)
For the first several months, if your lucky, for a year or two, it is hot and heavy. You may even be lucky enough that some of that love and lovely lust lingers for many years to come. Personally, I have never had that kind of luck.
My last relationship lasted ten years. (Dear God I pray that it is the last!) During the last nine of them, we never spent a holiday together. We went out to eat four times. He never gave me a gift, a card a hand picked flower or even said 'happy birthday'. During the last five years, I got the distinct impression that he did not want to be seen in public with me.
It may have been because whenever he was going out in public, he snuck away from the house.
Perhaps it was because, when I had a function to attend he either forgot something and had to leave, never to return, or he would be late getting ready and never show up at all.
Often, upon my return to the home he would be nowhere to be found - for days! No note, no phone call, no nothing.
It may have been the once a month disappearances that lasted at least overnight, but usually 2 - 4 days.
You will never guess what the answer to the question 'Where have you been?' was.
"Oh, here and there. Why?" was the innocently delivered reply.
WHY? Why the hell do you think, why?
Or,
"I told you I was going to do such and such!"
Which was usually something that I checked to see if he was doing and did not find him doing it or it was something that should have taken only an hour or two to do and was yet undone.
Yes, men have their place and they are well suited for that place when they fit in it. That place just doesn't happen to be in my home or my life!
NO - I Am Not The One.
Add a Comment
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Comment by Nancy Wells on September 4, 2007 at 10:31pm
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Opening stuck jar lids? Taking out the trash? Pretty much anything you need done you can do without. Figure it out. Or hire it out.
Though men are awfully handy for slow dancing.
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